Hello everyone! It’s been a second! I’m in Uganda!! Praise the Lord. Amen. The Lord has been teaching me a lot about myself and showing me when my expectations line up with his and when they don’t. This process can be tiring and painful, but in the end I am always thankful for it because it develops me into looking more and more like Him.
One instance this last week where I was shown a way I operate that is not according to the will of God happened as we were wrapping up our leadership conference in Entebbe. Through conversation with my leaders and friends I realized that I live believing I am only good if I am doing good things. Despite knowing the truth, that I am saved by faith and not works, I live striving to do all the good things and when I fail to, I fall apart. It’s a somewhat simple realization, but it is so hard to stop and change.
I think growing up playing sports has played into this mindset to some degree, because there is a need to perform well so that you play and your team wins. On this mission I have worked hard to be a good teammate and faithful disciple of the Lord. The reality is, I have failed and fallen short at times. The end of the leadership conference was one of those times, and I found myself spiraling into self deprecation. My friends and leader built me up
with scripture and charged me to lean into GRACE. Grace that my Father willingly and constantly extends to me. Realizing this tendency of mine has been difficult but also helpful because I am on guard to combat my condemning mind. I am so thankful for the way God purposefully speaks into my humanness. One verse I am holding on to right now is Ephesians 2:4-10. Thank you all for your prayers!!